Joy in the Journey

 I was thinking today about how quickly January has gone by, and about the things God has been speaking to my heart.  I wrote in my prayer journal on January the 7th, “Father,  Let this new year be a year of change.  Change in my heart, my life, and my mind.”   I had no idea when I wrote that how quickly the changes would begin.  Less than two weeks after praying this, Natalie and Joey announced they were moving.  Not exactly the kind of change I had in mind, but God sees the big picture and I only get the thumbnail version.

So, now I am wondering what God has in store next.  It seems as though He has begun to lay the ground work for other changes as well.  Ashley (Hubby) and I have been discussing the possibility of putting Drama Queen back in school in the fall, and me going back to work.  We had originally thought we would homeschool at least until she went to sixth grade, but now we are wondering if God has a different plan.   If this is the direction God is leading us in, it will mean many new changes. 

I am a little overwhelmed at the thought of dealing with all that goes along with putting DQ back in school, she has learning difficulties, and it can be a daunting task dealing with teachers and counselors to make sure her needs are being met.  This was one of the main reasons we decided to homeschool in the first place, because they weren’t.  She had great teachers, but our state’s educational system is very flawed, especially where kids with learning difficulties are concerned.   So, we need to spend a lot of time in prayer before any decisions are made.

This journey we are on leads us down many different paths sometimes, and I for one, don’t usually like being taken out of my comfort zone.  I have at times balked at the changes God has brought into my life, but this time I prayed for them, so I have no right to complain, do I?  I need to find the joy in this journey God has me on and remember that my heart’s desire is to fulfill His purpose for my life. 

Have a great Friday!

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Melancholy

I am feeling melancholy tonight.  The house is quiet now, although just a short while ago it was filled with the sounds of laughter and talking, and the occasional squeal of a little one who’s toy had been taken away by either a sibling or a cousin.  The scent of the meal still lingers in the air, and I need to go finish cleaning the kitchen, but I wanted to write while it was still fresh on my mind.

I stood in the nursery tonight changing Ladybug’s diaper while Spiderman, Cupcake, and Blue Eyes played in the princess tent that Drama Queen has outgrown, and I felt such a wave of nostalgia sweep over me.  I could remember so clearly how it felt almost three years ago when we first moved down here to be closer to Phillip and Beth, Natalie and Joey, and the new babies.  I can remember the joy I felt that we were here and  that I was keeping Spiderman and Cupcake on a regular basis.  We had begun a new chapter in our lives, we were now not just parents, but grandparents.

We took every opportunity to be with the kids and the grandkids, and enjoyed them thoroughly.  And before we knew it, we found out we were going to be grandparents again.  How exciting!  God added Blue Eyes and Ladybug to our family, and we couldn’t have been happier.   

The past few years have flown by so quickly and I am grateful for every minute that God has allowed us to be all together as a family.  I realize that we have had an opportunity that not everyone is able to experience, and I will never take that for granted. 

 I know that change is as inevitable as breathing, but part of me wants things to remain the same, at least for a little while longer.   But it is not to be, God has a plan that must be fulfilled.   I know whatever God has in store for our family, it will be for our good and His Glory!     

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We Did It!

After letting way too many years go by without having it done, we finally got the entire family together and had our family portrait made.   We had one made of the whole family and one of just the grandchildren.  They both came out beautifully, I couldn’t be happier.  I can’t wait until they’re ready, which will be on February 8th, and then I will post it to my blog (if I can be patient enough to wait for dial-up to do it’s thing).  

Hubby was off today, so we went over to Natalie and Joey’s after we got our homeschooling done and helped them finish packing and do some odds and ends that needed to be done.  They are packed except for the last minute things, and then they will just have to clean and do touch ups.   

Cupcake came home with us to spend the night and she and Drama Queen are in DQ’s bed giggling as I type this.  It’s way past both their bedtimes, but this will be the last time Cupcake is able to spend the night for a while, so I’m letting them have their fun. 

 I’m going to miss Natalie and Joey and their little ones so much, I don’t think it will sink in totally until after they’ve gone.  I’ve enjoyed being able to spend time with them at least once a week, I can’t imagine how it’s going to be seeing them only every couple of months or so.

I suppose we just have to embrace the life changes God brings our way, even when they are difficult to accept.  He has a plan and a purpose for our lives that we don’t always understand or comprehend, I’m just glad He is in control.

Have a great night!

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Praying for an Atheist

I’ve debated about whether to post about this or not, but as I sat down to write tonight, this is what keeps coming to mind.  A few nights ago as I logged on to the website where I blog, I noticed a tagline for a blog in the religion section that asked “is god real?”.  It peaked my curiosity, especially since the writer had put God in lowercase letters.  I clicked on the link and was directed to a blog that was dedicated to atheism.  Normally, I would have clicked away immediately, but I was drawn to read this post. 

As I read the post and the comments made to the writer I was deeply saddened.  My heart broke at the thought of anyone going through life not experiencing God’s goodness and grace.  I felt led to leave a comment, which I did.  I prayed before I wrote and asked God what He would have me to say.  I knew that nothing I could say on my own would make a difference to either the writer or most of the people who commented (some were Christians), but I knew if I was obedient and wrote what the Holy Spirit spoke to my heart to write that God would take care of the rest. 

As I prayed,  I felt led to just share what God meant to me, so that is what I did.  I have such a burden for these people and have been praying for them ever since.   In the past when I’ve seen atheist activist on television speaking out trying to change the Pledge of  Allegiance, or have the Ten Commandments taken out of courtrooms, I have been angered.  But, on the night I read that post and in the days following, all I have felt is tremendous sorrow for those people.  God has given me a burden to pray for them.  In the past I wouldn’t have given it more than a passing thought or maybe I would have offered up a quick prayer for them, but not this time.

I have often wondered how anyone could come to the conclusion that there is no God.  When I look up at the sky, day or night, I see His handiwork.  When my children and grandchildren were born, I saw His face reflected in their tiny newborn ones.  When I stand on the beach and look out over the vast ocean,  I see Him in every wave, in every grain of sand, and in every seashell.  He is in the joyful laughter of children, and He’s also in the tears of those who are hurting.  He is everywhere and in everything, and HE IS GOD!!!    

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Family Portraits, Better Late than Never!

We are having our family portrait made this weekend for the first time since our oldest daughter, Natalie, was ten months old.  She’s now twenty seven!  I am ashamed to admit this, especially since we’ve never had one taken that included Phillip (he’s 25) or Drama Queen ( she’s 11).   We have professional pictures of the kids and tons of snapshots, but not a family portrait that includes the whole family.  For some crazy reason we just never took the time to go have it done.  But, we are going to rectify that by having one made of the entire family, parents, children, and grandchildren.  Natalie and Joey’s move to N.C.  was the incentive we needed to have it done.  Another blessing in disguise!

If DSL ever becomes available here in the boonies, I might actually post pictures of my family.  I’d love to show them off, but I’m too impatient to wait for this painfully slow dial-up to upload photos.  Who knows, maybe I’ll take some time one evening and instead of posting my thoughts for the day,  I will upload a picture or two. 

Poor Drama Queen has a stiff neck, she turned her head too quickly this afternoon and we think she may have pulled a muscle.  We’ve tried ice, the heating pad, a hot shower, and ibuprofen, all to no avail.  She’s walking around with her head tilted to one side.  I feel so sorry for her, but I don’t know what else to do.  Hopefully, she will be able to get a good night’s sleep and the rest will help her neck to feel better.   If anyone reading this has a suggestion that might help ease her pain, please feel free to leave a comment!  

Update on Paul

Good news!  Paul is scheduled to go home tomorrow.  He is getting stronger and improving every day.  Thank you so much for your prayers.

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A Yellow Feather in His Hat

Today was so much fun, Beth came over this afternoon with Spiderman and Ladybug to spend some time with Drama Queen and me.  Phillip came over after work and they stayed and had dinner with us.  Afterward, Beth and Phillip went to their small group from church, so we got to hang out with Spiderman and Ladybug for the evening.  Hubby had an errand to run after work so he didn’t get home until 7:00, but Drama Queen stepped up to the plate and helped me tremendously.  Even though she sometimes gets a little jealous of the attention the little ones receive, she is awesome at helping look after them. 

Spiderman has decided that he is “Puss in Boots” after watching the Shrek movies, and wants us to call him “Boots”.  He has assigned everyone in the family a character from the movie, I am Pinocchio.  Tonight after his bath when I was putting his pjs on, we were talking about Puss in Boots and the fact that he has a yellow feather in his hat.  I remembered that I had some craft feathers that I had purchased for a homeschool project earlier in the school year, and I asked him if he would like one to go in his hat.  He was so excited, he couldn’t get dressed fast enough. 

 We found a yellow feather and placed it in his hat and the look on his face when he saw himself in the mirror was priceless!  He kept touching it to make sure it was still there.  Papa kept teasing him, calling him “Peter Pan”, and Spiderman would tell him “I’m not Peter Pan, I’m Puss in Boots”.  I love it that something so simple as that little yellow feather could bring him such joy.  It was an eye opening reminder that what our children and grandchildren need most from us is love and our time.  They won’t remember the toys we bought them, but they will remember the trips to the park, the games we played, baking cookies, and all the fun things we did together.

Little Miss Ladybug was her usual adorable self, she is such a little lovebug!  Her vocabulary is amazing, she is learning new words every day and she can repeat most words that you say to her.  I know that I’m a proud Nana, but I am amazed at how many words she knows at just fifteen months old.  One of my favorites is “no-man”, her way of saying snowman.  I left out some of my snowmen for the month of January, and she is always pointing to them and saying “no-man”.  It is so precious, I love to hear her say it over and over.

God has blessed me with a wonderful family and I am so thankful!

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Focusing on the Positive

I have been in a funk for the past few days and have not wanted to post, (1) because I didn’t feel like writing anything and  (2) I didn’t want to bring anybody down.  I would really like to try and keep my blog as positive and uplifting as possible, there’s already so much negativity in the world, no one needs more from me. 

I have been feeling sad because our oldest daughter, son-in-love, and two of our precious granchildren will be moving away in about a week.  Outwardly, I have tried to put on a brave face, but inwardly, I have been really bummed about the prospect.   A precious blogger friend, Sharon, encouraged me today and helped me to see things from a different perspective.  (Thank you Sharon)!  So I am going to change my attitude and focus on the positives in this situation.

1. Natalie and Joey are following God’s call on their lives.

2. They will be helping troubled girls to get their lives back on track and demonstrating the love of Christ to them.

3.They will have the opportunity to grow spiritually in a way they wouldn’t if they stayed here.

4.They will be living in the beautiful mountains of N.C.

5.They will see SNOW more often! (And we can visit and play in the snow with Cupcake and Blue Eyes)

God is so good, He puts up with my nonsense, feeling sorry for myself and indulging in self pity, and loves me in spite of it.  That is amazing to me!  If it were me, I think I would have given me a good swift kick in the rear, but God lovingly reminds me that He is in control and I need to let go.

I am so thankful that He teaches us life lessons in order to help us become the person He wants us to be.  I have so far to go, but at least I’m on the journey!

Enjoy the rest of your week!

Update on Paul

I don’t have an update today, but as of Sunday, Paul is continuing to make progress and grow stronger!  Thank you so much for your prayers!

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Answered Prayer

It’s official, Natalie and Joey, our oldest daughter and son-in-love are moving.  They accepted the houseparents’ position and will be working with a group of eight girls.  They are thrilled that God has opened this door for them and are looking forward to ministering to these girls.  They will be moving in less than two weeks to a beautiful area in the mountains of N.C. about 3 1/2 hours away. 

As a parent I have mixed emotions. I am very excited that God is moving in their life in this way, it’s exactly what you hope for your children, that they will grow up and serve God and be obedient to His call.  But, I am also very sad because we won’t be able to see them nearly as often.  It’s just selfishness on my part I know, but I love my children and grandchildren dearly and I want them close by.  It’s evident by way the events have unfolded that this is God’s will for them at this time in their lives, and you can’t argue with that.

We had a wonderful time with the little ones while Natalie and Joey were away.  Drama Queen was such a big help, she really pitched in and helped me so much. We enjoyed every minute with them and tried to make it as much fun as possible.  I painted Cupcakes’s fingernails and toenails, bright pink of course, and even put little stick-on flowers and clear sparkly polish over the pink polish on her toenails for some extra glamour!  She was thrilled, she couldn’t wait to show Papa when he got home from work. 

On Wednesday night when we had all four of the grandkids together for a couple of hours, it snowed!  It was only an inch, but I bundled up Spiderman and Cupcake and we went outside with Auntie Drama Queen to play in the snow at 8:30 at night.  We had a blast, we threw snowballs, went sledding (sort of ), and built a little snowman.  Papa missed out on the outside fun, but he had a great time with Ladybug and Blue Eyes.  It was just too late and too cold to take the littlest ones out so he kept them entertained inside.

After Phillip and Beth, our son and daughter-in-love, picked up Spiderman and Ladybug, I put Cupcake and Blue Eyes to bed.  Blue Eyes had a cough that kept waking him up, so he and I had extra time together during the night.  He is such a little snuggle bunny, he loves to cuddle, so we had wonderful one on one time while everyone else was asleep.

I am going to miss spending time with the four of them on a regular basis, but I know that this move is just another step in life’s journey and I’m going to have to embrace it.  I know that God is faithful and I am so grateful for the blessings He has given us.

Update on Paul

Paul is doing better.  Hubby talked to Beth tonight so I didn’t get the details first hand, but he is progressing.  Thank you for your prayers!

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We’re Off and Running

On Sunday I posted about our daughter and son-in-love feeling the call of God to become houseparents for a ministry to troubled youths.  Well, they are leaving tomorrow morning to go for an interview, and they are very excited.  There seems to be a good possibility that this could happen for them very soon. 

 Cupcake and Blue Eyes will be staying with us overnight, how fun is that!  I am going to soak up every minute with them and spoil them rotten while their parents are gone, since I may not have the chance as often anymore.   Chocolate cake for breakfast anyone?  Just kidding,  I would never feed them junk food for breakfast, but I am going to enjoy them as much as possible over the next two days.

Tomorrow will be even more exciting because Spiderman and Ladybug will be staying with us for a couple of hours in the evening while their Mommy and Daddy go to their small group from church.  So, Nana, Papa, and Auntie Drama Queen will have our hands and hearts full with all the grandbabies here with us.  I won’t have time to post tomorrow evening for sure because I’ll be having too much fun!

Update on Paul

Paul is out of intensive care and has been moved to a “step down” room.  He is doing better, but he is very weak and in pain.  Please continue to lift him up, we appreciate your prayers so much!

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Bittersweet News

My heart is heavy as I post tonight, our daughter and son-in-love came over this afternoon to talk to us about the direction God is leading them in.  They feel called to become houseparents for a ministry that deals with troubled youth, and it may mean they would be moving away.  I have always felt in my heart that one day God would call them into some type of ministry that might include them having to move, but I had hoped it would be when Cupcake and Blue Eyes were older. 

I am so proud of them for being open and obedient to God’s call on their lives, and I would never stand in the way of them fulfilling His purpose,  but selfishly I want them near us.  Cupcake is only three years old and Blue Eyes is just sixteen months old and they change so much, so quickly, at these young ages.  I wanted to be there to watch them grow. 

God knows my heart and that I only want what’s best for all my children and  grandchildren, but I am human and my heart aches at the thought of them moving away.  I know that God loves them even more than I do, and I trust Him to lead them in the direction that is best for them.  I pray that He will guide them every step of the way.

Update on Paul

Friday I posted about Paul, our daughter-in-love’s dad, undergoing emergency heart surgery.  This afternoon they took him off the medication that had kept him sedated, he is awake, although still a little disoriented.  They are planning to take out the breathing tube if he is able to breathe on his own.  Please continue to pray for him to make a full and speedy recovery! 

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