Yesterday, Drama Queen had her monthly visit with her birth mom, Marcie came over after church and we went out to lunch and then to the park. It was a little too hot to stay at the park for very long, so we headed back to the house so they could hang out together. I think they both had a great time, Drama Queen looks forward to these visits, she plans for days what they will do when Marcie comes.
Drama Queen and Marcie at the park
I am an advocate of open adoptions whenever the circumstances will allow it, I know that there are times when it’s just not possible or in the child’s best interest, but it is a blessing when it’s part of God’s plan. If both the adoptive parents and the birth mother are willing to work together and put the child’s needs first, it can be a very successful. It’s not always easy, in fact sometimes it can be stressful, but it’s worth it.
Drama Queen was four years old when she came to live with us and six years old when the adoption was finalized. We realized early on that an open adoption would be best for everyone involved. There have been times over the years when we questioned whether we did the right thing by having an open adoption, but we have always come to the conclusion that we did.
We want Drama Queen to always have a good relationship with Marcie, we feel that it’s very beneficial to her emotional well being. We’re thankful she doesn’t have to wonder about her birth family and why her birth mom decided to let us adopt her. She knows the circumstances and realizes that Marcie did what was best for her, and she is able to talk to Marcie about it whenever she feels the need.
We love Marcie and consider her part of our family, we talk about the future and our hopes and dreams for DQ. Someday, Drama Queen will have both her moms there to watch her graduate from high school and culinary school (if she still wants that), and both of us as mothers of the bride as she walks down the aisle (many years from now!). I’m blessed to be able to share that honor with Marcie.
Open adoption is not for everyone, but it certainly works for us!
Have a great night!
Love, Velvia
It sounds like you have a great relationship with Drama Queen’s birthmom. I too am an advocate of open adoption, and we have that with two of our sons, but there has been little contact for some time now. I’m glad yours is working so well.
Hi Velvia,
Thank you sharing your story and DQ’s story with us. I know DQ will appreciate the openness and feels secure knowing she has all the people that love her in her life. I read your words and I can feel the love you have for DQ she is blessed to have you in her life Velvia *smile*.
Hugz Lorie
Thank you for sharing this.
I’m a firstmom in an open adoption and I need to hear that it works sometimes
My daughter is nearly 2 years old now. I dream to one day have an OA like the one you describe.